Let me ask you something. When you were a kid, the youngest self you can remember, what did you dream about? How about when you grew older, did your dreams stay same or changed, how and why? How about now, when you look at yourself in this moment, in January 2020, what is your biggest dream at the moment?
I am asking you this because automatically human so easily forgets, especially then when the growing environment has been safe, when we are busy and when we try to avoid feelings for making it “simpler”. And by he same token, unfortunately, them who has had somehow harmful growing environment, usually do not forget. Both of those are equally bad when we are talking about understanding the luckiness of our own life, because the key is awareness. When we do forget to look back and realize what all we have actually reached, it adds dissatisfaction which also affects our self-confidence. The same happens when we can’t let the past go, but keep hanging on it – we never become aware of how far we have actually came for. We block awareness for protecting ourselves, but what we actually do, we block the only way to find the balance, the mind peace, we need to be stable and by that happy.
When we take a moment for thinking about this simple thing; what we dreamed about as children and what we are dreaming of now, we can understand how powerful human beings we actually are. No matter what. What we have reached despite where we are coming from, what we have created and what we have given for this world and other people. When we understand the power inside us, we are finally able to start using the power for anything we want, as we are able to do anything. Think about facts, do not let your unsure or negative feelings mix your head. Keep the facts and feelings separated.
You don’t have to be fine after bad or difficult past, but lying about it or acting something else is more harmful than facing the truth. But not wallowing in past helps you either. So what to do?
Remember this:
More we hide things and feelings, more unsure of ourselves we become. This automatically affects the self-confidence.
Understand this:
Facing the fears and traumas doesn’t have to mean facing physically those people or matters itself that have caused you harm, but the feelings behind the traumatizing issues:
• How do I feel? Explain your feelings more than just “bad” or “sad”, the better description of your feelings you can give for yourself, the better you can help yourself to get rid of the negative feelings in your mind. Healing is never easy, but it’s worth of all work.
• Why do I feel that way? When you understand what your feelings actually are, you are able to start to understand why do you feel that way. Once again, do not cheat yourself, there is no easy answers like “I feel bad because I have been mistreated”. Remember now that it’s all about you. Think about your own precious self, it’s your own system that creates all your feelings. There are hundreds of reasons why do we feel the way we do, some of us are more sensitive than others, some of us have totally different character. This is the point to learn about yourself actually, do not run away.
• Why do I carry these feelings? How does it make me to feel like? The feelings are not only part of you, but you are also part of your feelings. You can train this. The main problem is not usually handling the feelings, but avoiding them. It doesn’t make you worse than someone else that you have heavy things on your mind, but it actually makes amazing difference to not hide them, but accepting them. Once again this doesn’t mean to accept the things that has happened to you, but accepting the truth is has happened and you can’t change it. You can still change your future, but not by wallowing in the past – the feelings attaching you there, keep you there.
• Stop repeating the same mistakes. Human is after all too simple and pretty stupid, so we need to use the power of awareness also for learning from mistakes. Do not let the similar people causing harm in past into your life today, be smart and protect yourself. Train your trust, let the naivety go, it won’t help you at all. Be smart, be smarter and be the smartest version of yourself.
When you get rid of harmful emotional burden you carry on your shoulders, in your mind, you will reach out the fact how lucky you actually are. Even more lucky as you are one of them who has got the unnecessary negative energy out of your precious system. Which naturally adds the positivity in you.
It won’t happen in one night, with myself it asked for years of working with myself every single day. But also, I learned to love it so much that I am still doing it, not with my past anymore but everything that adds me pressure, stress or sad feelings.
I am lucky. I am so darn lucky many ways. Life can be hard, it’s hard for all of us at times. We all have different lives, but we all, each of us, have our own issues. And our own ways to deal with them. Successful in life is the one who understands what a precious gift the life is and how easily and quickly it can be taken away, who doesn’t waste it for harmful things and treats themselves with care and love. Choose to be one of them. You are worth it, do never forget it.
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