365 days ago we celebrated my precious BenBen, his birthday, the day when I rescued him. On that day last year he wasn’t so well as he was just started his new medication in every 12 hours, laser treatments four times in a week and acupunctures once in week to ease his chronic pain. He was so tired. But suddenly he was filled with some special energy, when we started to bake his birthday cake together. And it made me so happy he loved his special little cake so much! Steal his dog birthday cake recipe from here >>

Today I am missing him so very much. I wish our babies could stay forever, but they are too precious to give more time for us, for sinner humans. They deserve they rest more than we do.

Yesterday was horrible, we started to fix my teeth and by that I have been in extra pain since yesterday morning. Today I went to market first time without help, it was fine despite all the communication, because now my talk is even worse because of the pain in my mouth. Even my nose hurts! Anyway, I went to market to get something nice for Picasso on this special day we were going to celebrate for BenBen. I got him a tiny pumpkin to cook, and later we could decorate it together for Halloween. We love to do things like that together, you know. And BenBen loves to watch us working and playing despite crying all the time, that’s what I would do without Picasso. He keeps me going.

When I got home there was something waiting for me, too. You may remember last year BenBen got his new Moomin mama blanket from me, the blanket Moomin mama paints some flowers on the wall to cheer her family up. Today I got the gift with similar print and it melted my heart. It was perfect. And so needed as I burn my hand with my old broken potholder all the time!

All day long I have pampered my mind with wonderful memories of my beloved BenBen. My little kid, the love and light of my life. All night long I have stayed in bed, rested and knitted under BenBen’s Moomin mama blanket. Happy Birthday in heaven, kid. Mama and little brother miss you so much ❤️