THE TOUCH OF LIFE
A little while ago when I was coming home there was a major accident on the highway. The traffic was totally in stuck for several kilometers, there were ambulances, polices and also firefighters working hard for getting someone out from the tiny car totally crushed...
THE PAIN
My blog is not my diary, neither are my social media channels, they are all just the ways to influence. I mean, when you see there some smile, it doesn’t mean I am not carrying some suffer, something I call as agony myself. It has...
PREPARING FOR DEATH
We don’t talk about it, we don’t think about it, and most often we are not ready when it reaches us. At times it catches us very suddenly, sometimes by time by giving us some time to digestive the information. Personally, I don’t know which...
BREATHING THE WORLD
I can clearly remember the time I had anyone else but my little Bean beside me, no one else in my life. He made my whole world. For many people it’s impossible to understand how it’s even possible human can be that alone and really...
CLINGING TO HIM
It’s 12th day without BenBen. It feels like few days only, because I have been hanging on him in my mind without letting go. I can’t remember what have I done these days during almost two weeks, I have been like a zombie all days...
GETAWAY
Home feels so quiet and empty. My little clumsy BenBen always filled the home with most weird voices. Let me give you an example: he was eating, turned to look around, stepped on his own plate, slipped, the plate made a voice which made him...
SWEET DREAMS BENBEN
At Tuesday night I read the last bedtime story for my dear darling, the story was Peter Pan. BenBen fell asleep in my arms, but I couldn’t sleep. I felt too sad and terrified about goodbyes next day. As I wrote earlier, BenBen went very...
MELON PARTY: LAST NIGHT TOGETHER
As we know, we are living our last hours together with my most precious BenBen. The hardest decision was made on Friday when he started to vomit again a hard way. Still all weekend and Monday I staid nights awake, cried my face off and...
SURUSSA – IN THE SORROW
Hetken hiljaisuus. Kirjoittaminen helpottaa, mutta kaikki sanat ovat nyt niin henkilökohtaisia, etten voi niitä tänne näpyttää. Preston O’Rayley, “Peikko” kuten häntä meillä kotona kutsuttiin, nukkui pois tänä aamuna. Taistelu lymfooman kourissa kävi liian raskaaksi. Paino laski reilut kaksi kiloa ja tänä aamuna pikkuinen painoi enää...