Happy Holidays everyone! I do wish that your Christmas was at least as wonderful as mine. Though when I think about everything I experienced in this Christmas, I seriously don’t know if there is any possible way to make it feel better. I still am very overwhelmed about everything, so overwhelmed that I don’t really find them words to express myself. At a same time I feel that there are way too many words to say, so many that they get tangled with each others and making no sense when trying. And same time I feel totally speechless, like there were no words enough to tell about it. This is very new to me. Never in my life I have felt this kind of joy, excitement and happiness in a same package. The happiness so strong that it made me feel calm even when I was in pain and had no energy and power to do everything I would loved to. And same time this Christmas brought some hope and so much love and care into my heart, soul and mind. This Christmas gave me something I had no idea about, I got more than I could ever have even dreamt about. I got everything and I got more.

When I first time started to think about the Christmas coming up this year, I felt sadness. I knew it would be very different all possible ways this year. But as a wise woman understanding the situation gave me some courage to just accept everything the way it was. When the December started, I kept all focus on decorating the home for Holidays for Picasso. We enjoyed of it so much. Little by little I started to be all okay with an idea of very different Christmas, which was supposed to mean just a very regular day at home. And then all of sudden little miracles started to happen. I still can’t understand what actually after all even happened, it all, I mean basically IT ALL just turned around. Totally.

It was supposed to be no more than just a very regular day, but it became everything else, it became such a dream. All of sudden Picasso and I were with beloved ones, baking gingerbread house, dancing while listening and singing Christmas songs, decorating Christmas cookies, having a sauna bath and enjoying the Christmas dinner fitting on my special diet. This all was just too much to handle and understand, but the way it only made me smile and it felt so amazingly good. I was even able to design and bake a special gingerbread house for Picasso to bring home and to remember this Holidays forever. His excitement was priceless, he loved so much of baking and decorating together.

And then even some gifts popped up for us from under the tree as well. And then rest of the night I spent by crying and by being totally out of understanding. And I still am. My whole system got so touched by and I still can’t understand it. I am in tears when typing. The feeling is too big to fit in my heart.

Picasso got a wonderful, a very special book from Carol. We started to read it as a bedtime stories last night and I need to tell reading this is such a great practice for me. If you have never read these stories written in English, you must try. I mean, you are gonna learn a lot. Or, lose your mind LOL. I mean the style is so poetry and old-fashioned that it’s very, very difficult to pronounce. I love it though a lot. These fairytales are my favorite ones with Grimm’s original stories.

I also received some gifts which made me feel totally confused. Once again my Maria not only surprised me up a big way, but also made me cry them huge tears. And not just by herself, but with her wonderful parents. And with puppies, of course. Endless thank you dear ones, I love you so much.

I can’t believe I got to meet even my dear Jing. This pandemic makes everything more difficult for everyone, and it asks so much patience and bother to meet up these days, so I am even more overwhelmed. And not only that he travelled to meet me up, but he also brought me a surprise gift. A genius one with some little prank, of course LOL. Gosh, I just love him, he’s amazing. In bottom of all there was such a wonderful present to remind me of his words forever. Thank you love.

I got wonderful tea and geez, the shoes and face mask best ever. Everyone who really knows me, knows my feeling when I opened these gifts. Damn, this is wow. Laughing and crying same time.

Still nothing beats the imagination of children; when they make something with such a thought and heart it has a different kind of power to touch my heart. I was gifted with a very special gift from young girl, so special that we are going to frame it with Picasso to last forever. It was even more special as the moment was shared with Picasso. He was in my arms when we were handed the present and we opened it together. He did recognize himself from the figure I think. He was smiling, I promise you, he was. What a brilliant, loving gift. This means everything to me.

This Christmas was made and spent together, with love. I feel happy and grateful. Oh, how blessed I must be.