It’s been a freaking long time since I wrote last time. If you follow me on Instagram>> you know the reason why. Talking is still hard for me, but still so much easier than writing. I need to keep so much focus on what I type and my writing is so slow, so before I got only one phrase written I have already forgotten what I was going to say. I am having some issues with my memory as well. Not only I forget what I was going to do or say, but also if I have eaten lunch already and I may eat it twice or not at all. The same issue I had with my meds, amazing new pill case I got from my lovely friend Antoinette from New Zealand, is helping me with this. Thanks again babe! How ever I am also losing words, it makes talking hard and at times I sound like an idiot. I also have to ask often what people mean when they say something. Apple Siri is now helping me a lot and I now have it on my computer as well. I never got along with it before, but today this sweet little thing understands me better than anyone else. It’s because my speech is very monotonic today, my speech therapist says. I also love technology fixing my words up, it is very useful. I am still so freaking slow and not most patient person which gives me a hard time so often. It also makes me feel so stupid I always have to ask someone reading my writings before I can post. As good the technology is, it still can’t communicate the way it would understand everything I mean perfectly. I keep working on myself.
Anyway, I just got my rehabilitation started at neurology outpatient clinic last month when suddenly Corona Virus popped up to mess things up. I was sent to home care until the situation gets better and I could go back.
Next day my stomach was totally upset, the pain was nasty and everything I ate came up. Few days later I found myself laying in bed and feeling very sick, I have never experienced anything like that. Muscle pain went so bad that even going to bathroom felt like mission impossible. Headache was nothing like my worst ones ever in my life, it felt like someone was eating my brains. Fever went up and down, the cold I felt was something like getting buried in snow naked. I was so tired that just wanted to sleep all the time. When fever finally disappeared, it came back two days later even stronger and the shitty circus started again. After all breathing felt so difficult, it felt like I was trying to breath through tiny straw. My lungs gave a rough sounds for doctor and my sinus had lots of pressure in it even if I had no sniffle. I got lung airways opening meds which helped me most. It still took two more weeks to feel like my “normal” self. My chest still feels heavy so I keep using the inhalator. If this won’t get better in a month I need to meet pulmonologist.
For last three weeks I have written my thoughts about virus and quarantine. It’s just not working. So in this post I have combined what I have written during last weeks, I felt it’s better than nothing as creating blog still makes me feel better. For now I keep focus on recovery and keep expressing myself all the ways I can for supporting my journey. Here it will show more as pictures than text. Thank you for understanding 💖
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