BLACK CHRISTMAS
We didn’t have snow even a bit in this Christmas, it was totally black. Well, outside, but not black in my mind! This Christmas was most colorful, most bright and happiest ever. This Christmas was perfect and I felt BenBen in a spirit sharing all...
HESY
Heippa ihanat! Nyt tulee se postaus, josta olen jutskaillut Instagramissa torstaista asti. Tarkoitus oli laittaa IG Story pöhisemään jo eilen perjantaina paikan päällä, mutta Telian laaja verkkosotku onnistui vaikuttamaan myös omaan liittymääni niin mittavasti, että olin täysin netitön koko päivän ja illan. Tämän blondin ja...
THREE MAGICAL THINGS
If you read my previous post “FINDING BRAVERY”, you know I was looking for some bravery to show myself on social media again, after my speech went bad by illness. And if you follow me on Instagram you know I have done it now. It...
WE ARE ALL EQUAL
What is the life? What is the human? Why are we here? What makes our system work? What causes diseases? Who decides who lives and who dies, and when? Why someone dies before they even born? Where those lives go? These “simple” questions I have...
BREATHING THE WORLD
I can clearly remember the time I had anyone else but my little Bean beside me, no one else in my life. He made my whole world. For many people it’s impossible to understand how it’s even possible human can be that alone and really...
CLINGING TO HIM
It’s 12th day without BenBen. It feels like few days only, because I have been hanging on him in my mind without letting go. I can’t remember what have I done these days during almost two weeks, I have been like a zombie all days...
SWEET DREAMS BENBEN
At Tuesday night I read the last bedtime story for my dear darling, the story was Peter Pan. BenBen fell asleep in my arms, but I couldn’t sleep. I felt too sad and terrified about goodbyes next day. As I wrote earlier, BenBen went very...
MELON PARTY: LAST NIGHT TOGETHER
As we know, we are living our last hours together with my most precious BenBen. The hardest decision was made on Friday when he started to vomit again a hard way. Still all weekend and Monday I staid nights awake, cried my face off and...
THE LOVE ALWAYS WINS
My rescued babies have taught me a lot. When I rescued my BenBen 6 years ago, I had no idea he would help me to handle my own past and traumas. When I was a child I couldn’t believe anything would ever heal my wounds...
CHASING LOVE
When I was a child I felt I just needed some love. I was a brave kid who always talked about feelings but it was so hard I couldn’t understand why I felt the way I did. And no one ever explained me. I needed...