It’s been rough past weeks, very rough. But same time I have felt actually happier and stronger, feeling that I can push through this all. I can and I will. Not alone, but together with them who are around to bring their loving hand and help.

The hip is healing slowly but surely, I can feel it. I can feel the pain is slightly fading away even though the bruise is still covering almost my whole bum and thigh. Tomorrow I am able to restart my physical therapy again but not yet for lower body, for upper body only. With crutches I will walk by still for one or two weeks depending on healing. I myself would be all good get rid of them right away, but better to listen doctor. From gym I will be away for longer anyway which saddens me, but life happens. No can do. Now it’s time to keep focus on healing. How ironic. Like no keeping focus on healing I have tried to do for past two years. Laughing which actually is more like screaming deep inside of me. It hurts. At times my life feels like a big, big joke.

So what has helped me during this hard time, not only while healing but while a whole battle, lately. Actually, calming down. That’s what I have tried to learn and no, I am not good at it yet, but I am improving. It all starts from home with me. Keeping home comfortable and safe, and not having even one negative energy source around, that has been my first step.

The second step is keeping focus on everything making me happy. So I started from decorating my crutches with stickers my dear twin Antoinette has gifted me with. They are perfect on them and reminds me every time while using them that everything is possible. If Little Mermaid was able to walk on the ground, I will be able to beat this game as a winner as well. We just need to have some faith. And I do.

The third step has been friends. Actually, they are part of one the first step, but due the pandemic I am obviously not having anyone visiting me. So they are part of my life online only. But that way part of my home life as well. But however, them friends. Them true friends, as I have so strong way seen during this poopy time. I don’t have many, but oh, them I have I know are worth everything.

And of course my little own special hobbies like knitting. It calms me down. Oh, how much I love to watch TV or listen audio books while knitting. It’s just wonderful.

The last step is the food. Why last? Because unfortunately it’s still not part of my everyday life in this poor situation. So always when I am having a nourishing meal and ability to cook, really cook, ah it makes me so happy, I enjoy of it with full heart. And praise the goodness. No, The Magic!

What I wish my situation would help others to understand is that nothing in this life is obvious. Nothing but the death after all, it will happen to all of us wanted we or not. You never know when it comes to bring you with so please dear darling, live your precious life up. Live it up and never forgot to keep focus on how it actually makes you feel like.